Skip navigation! You get to decide what "counts. It's a social construct we made up, and the person you are after sex after is the same as before sex, just like you're the same person before and after you ate ice cream for the first time. That said, you don't want to get a brain freeze the first time you eat ice cream. And you probably want your first time having sex , whatever that means to you, to be fun and pleasurable for both you and your partner. We talked to the experts to get their advice, and added a few tips of our own.