Bob and Mary have been married nine years and have two small children, ages eight and six. While not wishing to complain, Bob thinks their marriage is in trouble. He wants to make their lack-luster marriage more satisfying. Marriage is a call to on-going intimacy — not only sexual intimacy, but also the intentional develop of emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy. Studies report that couples who are passionate about each other can more easily solve problems, including such things as dealing with children, extended family, and financial issues. In time, couples like Bob and Mary may settle for security and certainty at the cost of playfulness and passion in marriage.

By Michele Weiner-Davis. It places the marriage at risk of infidelity and of divorce. Another misconception is that sex-starved couples present their sex life as their primary issue when they come into couples therapy. In fact, more often than not, I ask about it in the first session.

Maintenance sex may not sound like the most titillating thing in the world, but it is crucial to the health of your relationship. It means keeping the sex up to ensure both people in the relationship are sexually satisfied. Sometimes your partner wants to get it on and all you want to do is catch up on last season of GoT. Sex sounds time-consuming and annoying. Or maybe when you really want to have sex, your partner always seems to be too tired or stressed.